33-year-old insists on returning from Italy vacation early, 36-year-old friend makes a "drama" out of early return: 'My vacation mood had dropped to 0 and I just wanted to go home'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 18, 2025 3:00 PM EST

You can't travel with just any friend — you might find out the hard way that you just aren't compatible for that journey! 

Friends come and go, and that's just part of life. You gain friends as you go through life, but you also lose some along the way. Perhaps you just grow apart, or find different friend groups, or realize at some point that you aren't interested in the same things any longer. You might think you have the same morals as someone, but even a single inciting incident can prove you wrong. It makes you look at that person in a totally new light, and you may no longer like what you're seeing. 

This person realized that she's no longer compatible with her friend after a vacation went off the rails. These 2 women, ages 33 and 36, took a trip to Italy, and when things first kicked off, they were having a lovely time shopping and sightseeing together. But mid-way through the trip, one of the women got a terrible update about her home, and realized she wanted to get back home ASAP. That didn't bode well for the other woman, and despite her being slightly older, she acted pretty immaturely about the whole thing. 

Now, these two "friends" are left with unpleasant feelings towards each other, and it wouldn't be surprising if they choose not to interact anymore. One friend has shown that she can't be there for the other during a time of need. You really can't just travel with any friend — you have to pick and choose carefully who comes along for the ride. 

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    Woman in white shirt and tan hat touches neck while laughing at phone, to her right a woman in a white hat and white shirt smiles while pointing to phone, with water in background
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I (33F) went on vacation with my friend (36F). My friend lives about 500 km away from me and is virtually on the way to our destination, so I picked her up and we went on to Lake Garda in Italy, which was also another 400 km.
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    We had agreed in advance that we would stay for 4 days at Lake Garda with the option to extend by one day. We had a great time, saw a lot and did a lot of shopping. On our second to last day, I asked her if we wanted to do the extension or if she
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    wanted to go home tomorrow. She didn't want to do the extension, but didn't want to go back until late afternoon the next day, which was fine with me. On our departure day, my mother called me early in the morning and told me that due to a storm, my
    via u/MissGMT3188
  • 05
    apartment was under water. Because of this, my vacation mood had dropped to zero and I just wanted to go home. So I asked my friend if we could maybe please go home after breakfast, for the reason just mentioned. She was not enthusiastic at all and
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    totally uncooperative. I then proposed the compromise that we go home at 2pm so she has enough time to shop. We have to check out of the hotel around 1pm and leave the garage with our car at 2pm. She didn't like this suggestion either but agreed. At 1:30pm I
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    told her that we had to walk slowly back towards. the car and she tried to stall for time, whereupon I asserted myself by giving her the choice, she either comes with me or she has to see for herself how she gets home, because I'm leaving now. Finally she agreed and we finally left.
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    Here already the next problem began, she did. not want to go so early from the vacation home and now nevertheless extend or go only tonight late home. Then I reminded her that I need at least 5 hours more until I'm home, depending on how the traffic is and I do
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    not want to extend or drive later. Thereupon she was totally cranky and in a bad mood. Normally you can drive around the lake via the expressway, but this was not possible due to an accident and so we had to drive through the villages, which is visually
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    really nice but takes longer. My friend wanted to stop every 5 minutes to take pictures, which I didn't feel like doing. So I suggested we stop right at a restaurant on the lake for lunch and she has the opportunity to take her pictures here. Really nice restaurant with
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    terrace over the lake, lots of flowers, so the total Instagram dreamland. As an answer I got that she is not hungry and she does not want to stop here. So we drove on and I was punished with the silence treatment. Which is more of a punishment for herself, because of
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    the two of us she is the communicative type who always has to talk, I can also just say nothing and listen to music while I drive without making me uncomfortable. Shortly after the Italian border she yells at me to stop because she is sick, which I dutifully do by
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    pulling out at the next rest stop. Here she continues to yell at me that I am a bad friend, because I do not cater to her needs and ignore her. She is sick because she is hungry and I would not stop, not that I had offered her 1.5 hours ago.
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    To keep the "peace" | apologized to her and invited her to dinner. That appeased her a bit and we could continue afterwards. The mood. was still not the best. Finally we arrived at her home at around 9 pm. I helped her to bring in all her luggage and said
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    goodbye to her and told her that I will contact her when I arrive at home and we will talk on the phone in the next days. Due to the traffic situation, I also. finally arrived home 7 hours later where I was greeted by pure chaos. I wrote to my friend that I arrived home well and will
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    get back to her later. In the afternoon after a detailed damage analysis I sent her pictures of my water damage. I can renovate my entire apartment, my wooden floor and almost all my furniture are broken and need to be replaced, the walls are damp and need
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    to dry and then be replastered, it really sucks. As an answer from her to the pictures came, that I should not make such a fuss and that all this is not bad at all and still no reason to go home early from vacation and that she must think about whether she will go on
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    vacation with me again if I make such a drama out of everything. I'm starting to really doubt myself and wonder if I'm the problem here or if I should rethink my friendship with her. Was it really too much to ask to go home "early"?
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    For general info, I am an extremely calm person, even when I get upset I am not the type to yell at other people. I always try to find a compromise so that in the end everyone is happy. However, I increasingly feel like everyone's doormat when I don't want to argue or
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    engage in discussions that lead nowhere. I love your podcast and really appreciate your help.
    via u/MissGMT3188
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    Just about every commenter advised this person to find someone more supportive and less selfish to include in her life

    Shamelm... Nta You need to find a better friend yours is crap
    via u/ShameImaginary2717
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    SockMast... NTA Your home flooded. That is a great reason for you to go home early. Your friend was being selfish.
    via u/SockMaster9273
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    rachellyn... NTA That friend is broken get a new one.
    via u/rachellyn0205
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    SnooWor... NTA - It was an emergency and she wanted to stop for pictures and delay you further. This isn't a friend!
    via u/SnooWords4839
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    Girl in sunglasses and yellow floral shirt takes selfie with girl in white shirt, both smiling, with ocean background
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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friendship vacations Italy friends Travel vacation apartment
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